critical investigation LR

36=B

WWW-

1.  passion and engagement 

EBI-

1. Written English is one factor keeping you out of the top level: some spelling/grammer but more organisation. you need clear topic sentences that show where the essay is going.
2. another factor keeping it out of the level 4 is the lack of academic research (books and journals). you have 30 footnotes but how many from books or journals?
3. check references: no page numbers. also, come of the bibliography is in the incorrect format.
4. another aspect holding this back is the lack of media theory. where is the feminist theory? what about using Mc Robbie  to explore an alternative to you main argument- that women can use their sexuality to empower themselves.
5. id like more reference to primary text...you barely mention it after the second page of so.